the convient friend.

is it really that neccessary for you to repeatedly make plans with me and blow me off after i've clearly cleared my whole schedule out for you? do you really have to answer my question? no. know why? because i already know the answer to my own question. what is it you ask? the answer to that is yes. not sure if you know you are doing it, you are. i just don't know if it's intentional or accidental. whatever the case may be, i really don't give a crap. you tell me, "oh, let's get together and do something soon, i miss you so much! it's been forever! i know! let's do dinner!!!" and then the day comes...and i'm having dinner with myself. brilliant i say. smh. even after i keep telling myself that you will come through, or that you won't disappoint me this time or just give you the benefit of the doubt, i always get the same outcome; you don't follow through. so, i believe it's time for to just ignore all your calls, texts, and emails. i don't need a relationship of a 'friend' that is convient at your convience. i need a friend that will be at my and their convience. as of late, i'm starting to see that a lot of my friends are treating me like the convient friend. only thing is, they seem to think i don't know that i already know. however, i think they lack the knowledge that, it's me that they really need, or that without me, they'd be nothing. i'm not saying i'm the bestest best friend in the world, no. i just wanted to be treated like a friend. i'm just tired of hearing, "she fucked me over, but you, you will never change. no matter how much time has passed between our last encounter, we pick up right where we left off as if months hadn't past us by. you really are my one and only true friend." well, hell, if that's the case then, why am i sitting at home wondering why you out there with them, "them" are the ones that "fucked you over" just last night. ha! seems like you just like bitch friends. i'm done. i can't do this anymore. all this complaining and i'm still second to last. thank you for making me feel so nice and loved. next time i am proposed with another, "hey! let's do dinner! it's been way too long!!!" i'll smile and comply and then an half hour before dinner and i won't even give you a good reason, "i just don't feel like dinner anymore. matter fact, i ate already. how bout we do this next time. =)" i wonder if you'll like that. maybe then, you might just know how i feel. then again, why give my hopes up for that as well. ha!