a start to the end or and end to the start?

another year has passed, and i do strongly and truly believe that this year will be no different. i have no desire to change who i am right now. i also have no desire and or motivation for anything anymore. i do not wish to have a great year. i just want to have a year that will be decent for me. everything for me seems to be failing, so i'll just let it fail. if it does not. i'm grateful for that. i suppose it's time for me to put myself in the back burner once more and just put everyone else up front. because when i do try to be selfish about any small thing, hell just breaks loose. and i'm tired to explaining myself and my actions. what i fear the most is what i have become. i've created a monster in the process. i just want my soul to heal. life is about today, not yesterday but do look forward to tomorrow. i will live today. i will look forward to tomorrow for yesterday i cannot change. here's to another year.