thoughts

it's hard doing this whole not smoking thing, it's like i'm having relapses every saturday i swear!  i seem to want and always get a puff or two on saturday.  i went with my girlfriend to get her tattoo done last saturday, and we ended up at my house, after three bottles of wine, i found myself finishing up the last glass of wine after i had a couple of drags from her cigarettes.  my will just seems to die when i'm intoxicated with alcohol.  sad.  i'm going to try to make it through this weekend nicotine free!  on the upside, i'm going to johnson's creek this sunday to do some shopping at the outlet mall.  my fatty felt bad that i didn't know the family went to gurnee mills to do some shopping there.  but i suppose we shall see how much money i can really spend after i'm done paying all my bills.  tomorrow, well, technically today, is going to be a long day.  working out, laundry, a little cleaning and possibly if i have the time, write my book.  i have a lot on my mind that i need to vent out.  just seems like i don't really have anyone to vent to.  am i pathetic or what?!  too much.  anywho, i should get in bed and try to get some sleep.  wished i had worked out earlier instead of at 11 at night.  blah!