i get what i want when i want don't i?

this was the thought and the mentality that i lived by for so long.  and i still do, but only to a certain degree.  i am a girl and every girl is a princess at heart! ;)  but as i said, something happened that wasn't suppose to happen.  i anticipated that it would, and it did, and i thought i could handle it.  but turns out i don't think i can.  i don't know if i can take this anymore.  i hate what this has become.  me trying to surpress my feelings.  maybe i should have just let it all out when i was in chicago, but if i did, would it had made any difference?  that's a question that has been dwelling in my head after this long chaotic weekend!  would we remain friends or something less?  is it worth the loss if nothing is gained?  but if i don't do anything to simmer these feelings down, i will only be led to think about the what if...jeez, it sucks being grown.  maybe it's time to just talk about it and try to work this situation out to see if i can prevent this from happening again.  once too many times already has this gone too far.  let's see if i can bring myself to confront the issue in it's face.