fears and tears

when i say i love you, i mean it. when i say i miss you, i meant it too. when i say i need you, i really need you. when you stop hearing those things coming from my mouth you should start to worry.

a couple of my fears are for not a single soul to not understand me at all. and as of late, it's a big thing. i try so hard to explain and make it clear, but nothing! it seems like no one wants to take me serious enough. i'm tired of this. i'm 27, i don't need to be looked at as a mindless, careless and irresponsible 17 year old! i know what i want and i know what i don't need. when i say something don't look at me like i'm crazy. and yes, i may come off as a little "off", but i know what it is that i want. even if it's a bad idea. i tend to be not right in the head, but these crazy things that i think of and come up with are what i feel is right. so when you laugh in my face, remember that you just killed a little at a time.

when i shed a tear, it means that i care enough for you to cry. even if i don't know you, you obviously had that kind of impact on me. don't take me for granted and don't think that i'm that emotional. there is a life force connection of some sort that i can feel your pain, sorrow and happiness that i can cry and laugh and feel the same way you do. don't for one second think i'm faking it. i don't fake my emotions.

i don't ask for much, but when i do ask for your undivided attention, i really need it. it means that i'm out of sorts and i need someone to just be there for me. a shoulder to cry on, a friend to make me laugh or just someone to hold me. i and self sufficent enough to do things on my own, but when i say i need you, i really need you. meaning i've done everything that i can already and i can't do this alone. don't deny me, i won't resent it nor will i hold a grudge. what i get from that will be don't ask them again. and maybe you will think twice about it. i will continue on doing things for you, until i feel that i don't need to anymore. and when that happens, you won't realize that you just lost someone.

i'm not a child, just tell me what you want. i'm telling you what i want. just keep it real with me.